My Supports

My Supports

I am a single mom to an eleven-year-old son and a full time first grade teacher.  I have a second job working as a hostess to bring in some extra cash.  So, you can imagine my life right now is more than hectic when you add in grad school courses.  My son’s father is really not in the picture so a lot falls on my emotionally, financially and physically.  Luckily, I do have my mom and dad who have really stepped up to help us both in more ways than I can count.  My parents watch my son before and after school so that I do not have to worry about picking up and dropping off during specific hours.  With the teaching profession that is really nice.  It allows me to get my work done when I need to. They also transport him to travel soccer, basketball and baseball practices. Without their help, he would not have the opportunity to play any sort of sport and would need to be in a day care that was not his family.  My parents also help with laundry, expenses and general kid and home “maintenance”.  

I do not know how I would be able to juggle it all without their help.  I often feel guilty that my job is so consuming that I cannot do all the things I should be doing for my son, even simple things like running him to practice and doing his laundry.  But I am grateful it does get done.  There is plenty that I do for my son and I know he loves me and thinks I am a good mom, but there is still that guilt that I am often not home for family dinner.  My family knows that my son is a job that is almost twenty-four seven now, but I am really concentrating on finding a better balance this year so I can be at home more for both my son and myself.  It will ultimately lead to better health, less stress and a happier family. 

Although my life is difficult to juggle as it is, I am so very fortunate to have both a healthy son and healthy parents. When I have a difficult moment, or what I perceive is a difficult moment, I always think about how it could be worse. I can’t imagine being in my situation and having a special needs child, one that is wheelchair bound or needs specialized medical care.  If I had a child like this, I might need a someone who has specific medical training to help me take care of my child.  It could be my parents depending on my child’s condition, if they were properly trained and were physically able to keep up with the tasks involved.  He more than likely would not be able to stay in a regular day care and would need special supports at school.  It would be a toss-up if my parents could handle his before and after school care. 

This would also mean that I would need to attend meetings about both his academic and medical supports. At night I would need to be focused on his care, so when would I get my prep work done for school?  Having child with these types of needs would be emotionally, physically and mentally draining.  I wouldn’t have the energy to stay up late to get prep work done.  I just wouldn’t have that luxury.  Any extra help would need to be paid.  Where would I get that money?  Not to mention the money for specialized equipment and a specialized vehicle. 

If I were this this situation I would want to have trained help available almost twenty-four seven whether it would be family members or trained help.  I would hope that my insurance and special programs would provide the physical support and medical support both at school and at home as well as supports such as special equipment and vehicles.  I would not want to have to worry about where money came from for these things.  I can’t imagine worrying about how I was going to be able to afford a roof over our head and food to eat because of medical expenses.  I know I wouldn’t be able to afford it all or do it all.  Something would have to give. I don’t see myself being able to work a teachers’ hours with a child like this.  On the other hand, I don’t see myself being able to provide the medical benefits the teaching profession usually allows. It’s a catch 22.