Assessment and the Whole Child

My own personal birthing experience was bittersweet. My pregnancy was unplanned and I was an unmarried teacher which to me was humiliating working in an elementary school.  At one point in my pregnancy I was engaged to the father of my son, but that did not last long.  It was apparent he was not going to be the father I wanted him to be.  I was sad to bring my son into the world without a complete family.  I was afraid of whether or not I would be able to support him financially and emotionally.  I could barely support myself.  Although Luke was born without a consistent father figure, he had many family members who already loved him and were committed to him.  I have to be honest and say that they physical aspects of my childbirth were easy.  I barely felt any pain and recovered quickly from a pretty normal vaginal birth. I did need some pitosin because I wasn't progressing fast enough and Luke did have to be "suctioned out". The worst pain I felt was when they broke my water and the needle from the epidural.  But once the epidural kicked in I couldn't even feel the contractions! Luke's father was there for the delivery, but he was absent emtionally. I honestly would rather have had him not be there at all but my hope was once he saw Luke things would change. But they didn't and this made the emotional aspects of childbirth more difficult. Although I was surrounded by a loving family I felt very much alone!  Looking back on the event, I wish I would not have had all the anxiety and sadness I had. Everything has turned out okay and my own father has stepped up into the role as "father" for Luke. He has become a very loving and well adjusted child despite lacking the parental alliance that I was wishing for.  I know the parental alliance is important, but in my experience our family alliance has more than made up for the missing parental alliance. Is is hard sometimes? Yes. But I am so thankful that I have the family I have.  I wouldn't have been able to do this without them!

I read about births in England. I learned that births in England were very similar to births in the U.S. They are either done in a hospital or with a midwife or doula.  Mothers and infants are only in the hospital a day or two and then sent home.  If there are complications they stay longer. The big difference was that England assigns a midwife to each mother after the mother is home.  The midwife visits the home, allowing the mother to rest without needing to go out. They check in on mother and baby every 2nd day of the first ten days. They check on the recovery of the mother and whether or not the infant is feeding and gaining weight. If everything is normal then the midwife stops checking in after two days. If not she can be assigned to check in up to 4 weeks. A health visitor is also assigned after day 10 to check on the health of the child for the first years of their life. I think the after birth care that England provides really supports both mother and child, especially mothers and children who may not have the support needed to raise a healthy child or even recover fully from childbirth. The U.S., in my opinion, releases you from the hospital as if everything was going to be fine with mother and child; when mothers and children get the most support when they are in the hospital. Can you imagine how much better child development would be in the U.S. had afterbirth care like England?

Reference:

https://www.expatica.com/uk/healthcare/Giving-birth-in-the-United-Kingdom_107707.html